You know how I whine all the time that nobody reads my blog? I try to sound like I’m joking, but the truth is that it’s not that great as it might seem at first sight. It doesn’t really motivate me to keep doing this, does it? I mean, there are more rewarding ways to fill my fifteen minutes of baby-free time that I get every two-three hours each day. Like reading, for example, or drawing, or even sewing little things (bibs, lots of bibs!) (yes, and tiny sweaters cut out from old sweaters. Lots of those too!).
I do enjoy writing blog posts and I used to put a lot of time and effort into them, but honestly I don’t know if it’s worth it for me. Sure, I am trying to get my writing career off the ground again, and blogs are supposed to help with that. It’s not like I’m going to stop blogging now, but I have to confess to a disabling lack of motivation. It takes a lot of work to achieve even a small degree of success in the blogging world. And it’s not only work, but it helps if you are a certain type of personality, you know what I mean, very open, unafraid, effusive, engaging … I don’t know … I think I am maybe just a little too … boring? Let’s just say that. I am trying to pretend to be more interesting, hoping that maybe it sticks, but it’s not working very well, is it?
I do want to keep writing the blog for the person who reads my book (hopefully soon to be plural. The books, not the persons–I am fairly sure more than one poor soul attempted to read the thing and even finished it) and is intrigued to know more about the writer behind the work. I know I often go that route when I read something I like. I research the author to death and gaze at millions of photographs on google images. I imagine there are others like me out there. And I hope that one day there will be one or two curious about this writer. So I guess it is for that distant dream that I will keep doing this blogging thing. Because dreaming has always come easy to me.
[…] busy deleting a few thousand spam comments still lingering as pending. Because blogging is hard. How many times have I said this? I do so admire those very successful bloggers who seem to do everything right from the beginning […]
asks* – I can spell – but when I can’t, it’s because I’m jet lagged – always! 🙂
Hey there you, sounds like you’re down in the dumps. I think it’s understandable, given that you have a small baby and you must be exhausted much of the time – I wouldn’t feel guilty about not wanting to/feeling like blogging right now.
I do enjoy your posts, but you should never feel like you have to blog or that, if you do blog, you have to somehow entertain your readers (yes, I am sure there are many!). Personally, I like it when an author is a little less than perfect – “too real” as the slogan on my new t-shirt says. Just be yourself and the right readers for you will find you.
I love the photo with this post, by the way xxx
PS – maybe lack of comments is because the word verification askes for math!? I just got asked 9×9! That is so difficult for my numerically impaired brain!
Really? I had no idea is asks for math. That would stop me from commenting also. I have to look into it. But anyway, I would be happy with people just reading sometimes. I don’t even dream of comments. That is asking too much.
And yes, I am tired, but still. I need to keep my enthusiasm above sea level sometimes. Why is that so hard to do? Oh, and that photo was sooo staged so that none of the mess in my living room shows up. I am not that real, am I? I can’t do even that right, it seems.