Demoralizing, exasperating, demotivating, patronizing, simply soul crushing calls for submissions:
Please send us your best work. Do not sent us stories that have been rejected by other publications.
Edit thoroughly and send us only your cleanest work.
Format according to these particular requirements: (a list of ten seemingly arbitrary rules follows).
Write a good, clean and well-formatted cover letter. Your story will automatically be rejected if the cover letter does not look professional. We appreciate seeing that you’ve put in some effort.
Address the letter to the right editor even if we don’t list the names of our editorial staff on our web page. Make it look like you are taking this job seriously.
Write a short summary of the story. Hard word limit: 250 words.
Also, write a long summary of the story. Not more that 350 words.
Include a bio for us. List all your publication credits.
Include a third person bio for publication. Leave out the credits but write something that is interesting about yourself.
We do not accept simultaneous submissions: please to not send us stories that you have submitted to other publications.
Our response time is six months. We try our hardest to respond within this period of time, but editing a magazine/anthology is a lot of work, and our staff is limited, so please allow some delay.
We cannot extend our regrets to all the writers who have not been accepted, due to very large submission volume. If you don’t receive any communication from us in six months, you can consider that your work has been rejected.
Do not write to us to ask about the status of your submission. We do not have the manpower to answer.
We’ll pay $0.01 per word, if our campaign gets funded. The authors will also receive an electronic copy of the publication. (The publication will also come in print, but the authors will have to buy a print copy for themselves if they want one.)
Thank you for reading the submission guidelines carefully. You have a better chance of having your story accepted if you read our past three issues, the editor’s interview about the theme of this anthology, and this eight-page essay about the vision of our magazine. Happy writing!
Sure, uh-huh.
